Mall Brats is an RPG podcast that’s like if Gangs of New York was a Saturday morning cartoon set in a magical 1980s mega mall. Countless kid gangs make their living in the mall pulling off schemes, selling candy, and causing trouble under the watchful eye of the mysterious Food Court. The Cool Treat Kids are the mall’s most up-and-coming gang of ne'er do wells, featuring Fenton Beasley, Franklin Stein, and Clover Ivy Fern.
Latest episodes
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35 min
Season 2 Talkback
We reminisce about our favorite parts of season 2 [Content Warning: Memories, Traumatised Kids, Letter Bombs] Want more Mall Brats in your Life? Check out our main show 👶🏼Spout Lor…
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1 h 35
All Good Blades Must Come To An End
The stakes ramp up as the Cool Treat Kids race towards the end of their conflict with the Wine Moms. [Content Warning: Little Turdlets, Big Os, Pretty Woman Copyright Infringement]…
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1 h 05
Killing Two Blades With One Dark
The Cool Treat Kids collect the final ingredient they need to create the fabled dankest of dark chocolates: Pinot Noir.[Content Warning: Vampires, Old People, Barbeque Dads] Want m…
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1 h 28
Actions Speak Louder Than Blades
The Cool Treat Kids attempt to mend fences as they close in on the endgame of their scheme to stop the Wine Moms. [Content Warning: Secrets, Clove Cigarettes, Diarrhea] Want more M…
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1 h 05
Jack of all Blades, Master of None
The cool treat kids unwind after their most recent job as any fantasy adventurer would, with a sweet glow in the dark party.[Content Warning: Warm Beers, Flaming Hot Cheezos, Dance…
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1 h 19
The Whole Nine Blades
In the thrilling conclusion to the Chocolate Factory Caper, the Cool Treat Kids learn what it truly means to Eat Pray Love.[Content Warning: Potential Goat Murder, Rim Jobs, Seatha…
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1 h 17
The Blade is Always Darker on the Other Side
The Cool Treat Kids and their new found ally Adric Swift penetrate deep into the chocolate factory...from the rear.[Content Warning: Achillies, Prophecies, Drunk Borblos] Want more…
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1 h 05
A Watched Blade Never Boils
The Cool Treat kids prep for their excursion into the Chocolate Factory. More importantly though, they experience the wonders of a motel continental breakfast. [Content Warning: Se…
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1 h 04
The Squeaky Blade Gets The Dark
The Cool Treat Kids take the unprecedented step of leaving the mall and cross paths with a character ripped directly from Shawn's high school Dungeons and Dragons character notes.…
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1 h 04
The Blade is Mightier Than The Dark
The Cool Treat Kids spend their downtime recovering from their failure infiltrating Tina Durger's organization, and planning their next move in saving their home. [Content Warning:…
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1 h 11
Kids who Live in Candy Glass Houses Should Not Throw Blades
The Cool Treat Kids infiltrate Tina Durger's speakeasy, The Nog Hole, in a frantic effort to figure out what the fuck a condominium is. [Content Warning: Pant Disguises, Daniel Day…
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53 min
The Journey of a Thousand Blades Begins With a Single Dark
The Cool Treat Kids face the consequences of their vendetta against Kesserin Ropes and look to enlist the help of their friends in dealing with it. [Content Warning: Papooses, Trip…
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1 h 13
You Can't Judge a Blade by it's Clover
The Cool Treat Kids continue to ignore the impending re-development of the Sugar Shack and focus instead on their revenge scheme and the upcoming Sadie Hawkins dance.[Content Warni…
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1 h 14
Fortune Favours the Blade
Despite Clover's fugitive status and the impending plans to re-develop the Sugar Shack the Cool Treat Kids dedicate themselves to breaking up Kesserin and Shamus in the most elabor…
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1 h 22
Good Things Come to Those Who Blade
The Cool Treat Kids deal with the fallout of Clover's status as a fugitive, and the cast continues to violate copyrights for early '00s emo music. [Content Warning: Improvised Fune…
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7 min
HUGE ANNOUNCEMENT! SUMMER OF YOUTUBE!
This summer (June 1st to 30th) we're making all of our video episodes available to ALL of our listeners! Click the link below and head over to YouTube to get all that video goodnes…
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41 min
Season 1 Cast Talkback
The cast reflect on all the things they loved about Season 1. [Content Warning: Cougars, King Charles, and Pedro Pascal's Thick Digits] Want more Mall Brats in your Life? Check out…
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1 h 01
Don't Bite the Blade That Feeds You
The Cool Treat Kids face their biggest obstacle to date...the consequences of their actions. [Content Warning: Failures, Fires, Liberal Use of New Jersey Accents] Want more Mall Br…
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1 h 10
You Can Catch More Blades With Nog Than You Can With Vinegar
The Cool Treat Kids jump into their new feud with the Wild Nogs with the reckless abandon of a bunch of orphans with infinite access to sugar.[Content Warning: Dumpster Fires, Kid…
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57 min
A Rolling Blade Gathers No Dark
It's once again Charles Eve at the High Spear Mall and The Cool Treat Kids start to butt heads with the Wild Nogs.[Content Warning: Mortgage Brokers, Sweater Vests, Sensitive Frenc…