Emotional Sobriety: The Next Step in Recovery
by Allen Berger & Thom Rutledge · 200 episodes
HealthFitnessMental
Bill Wilson, co-founder of Alcoholic's Anonymous, wrote in 1952, "If we examine every disturbance we have, great or small, we will find at the root some unhealthy dependence and its consequent demand." Wilson suggested that if we could identify and continually surrender these unrealistic and unrecognizable demands, that we may then be able to accomplish what he imagined to be recovery's next frontier - something he called emotional sobriety. Flash forward 70 years, and join psychotherapists and best-selling authors Thom Rutledge and Dr. Allen Berger, who have taken up the mantle of exploring Bill Wilson's new frontier. Welcome to Emotional Sobriety.
Latest episodes
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32 min
The Unicycle Committee with Richard Rohr
Thom’s Nutshell: Emotional Sobriety is like riding a unicycle. Allen shares some special interactions he had with Father Richard Rohr, and Thom returns to the show to talk Emotiona…
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23 min
Don’t Let Anyone Edit Your Reality
Thom’s Nutshell: Be realistic about rejection. Don’t take things personally! Staying in equanimity, being less reactive are some primary goals of emotional sobriety. We aren’t sick…
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33 min
Responsibility Over Blame
Thom’s Nutshell: Serious condition: I’ll be okay as soon as that thing that happened to me didn’t happen to me. There’s a difference between blame and responsibility. Blame comes f…
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36 min
“Waking Up Is a Process” with Daniel Fulop-Furlano
Thom’s Nutshell: "Self-denial results in dependence. Self-acceptance creates independence." Waking up is a process, not an event. A road back to our true lost selves. Daniel Fulop-…
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49 min
Learning to Live and Love Differently
Thom’s Nutshell: "Are you solving the problems you want to solve, or the problems you think you are supposed to solve?" With emotional sobriety comes a commitment to being honest a…
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25 min
Living in the Pause
Thom’s Nutshell: Challenge your low self esteem and surprise yourself (I did). Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), which was developed in the 60’s by Aaron Beck, dovetails nicely w…
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25 min
Responsibility “To” Others, Not “For” Them
Thom’s Nutshell: Don’t make the mistake of thinking you have no impact in this world of ours. You do. Whether from a pebble or a giant rock, we’re all leaving ripples in the pond.…
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37 min
Can We Be Actively Indifferent?
Thom’s Nutshell: The ability to speak several languages is an asset, but the ability to keep your mouth shut in any language is priceless. Seeking truth through withholding judgmen…
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28 min
Demands Versus Preferences
Thom’s Nutshell: If you measure your well being according to how others treat you, you are choosing a life over which you have no control. This is voluntary victimization. Allen br…
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37 min
Positive Opportunism & Benevolent Manipulation
Thom’s Nutshell: Look for the benefit in all situations - practice positive opportunism. In another passage from Joe C.’s Beyond Belief, Allen ties our daily reflection to Emotiona…
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34 min
Out of the Hurt Locker
Thom’s Nutshell: We all have opinions. We all prefer certain outcomes. But attaching expectations to them is a choice. Disappointed? Upset? Devastated? Check your expectations. Why…
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25 min
Let It Be (With Joe C.)
Thom’s Nutshell: Rather than praying for circumstances to change, pray for the strength and wisdom to face those circumstances. “This shouldn’t be happening!” Well, it IS happening…
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32 min
The Five Points of Balance, Part Two
Thom’s Nutshell: Ignoring our own dark potential only makes it stronger. Avoid washing dishes and there are not only more of them, they are also harder to clean. The difference bet…
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30 min
The Five Points of Balance, Part One
Thom’s Nutshell: “The promise of perfection is a red herring. Don't be distracted from your pursuit of learning and improving.” Patrick celebrates eight years of sobriety and the g…
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30 min
It’s Not About Just Waking Up, It’s About Growing Up
Thom’s Nutshell: “Recipe for peace of mind: KNOW what you believe. KNOW what is important. KNOW what is within your control. LIVE congruently with what you believe.” Thom and Patri…
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27 min
Made a Searching & Fearless Moral Inventory (Of Someone Else)
Thom’s Nutshell: Step 16: Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of someone else. I can’t say I wasn’t warned. They told me to stop at 12. “Taking others’ inventory” gets to…
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24 min
We Are More Capable Than We Realize
Thom’s Nutshell: "Live this moment as if you chose it. Might as well. And maybe you did." Give yourself permission to doubt. Give yourself permission to disagree. Give yourself per…
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30 min
“My Brain Would Kill Me if It Didn’t Need the Transportation”
Thom’s Nutshell: “So much energy we spend wishing things to be different.There are always better uses of our time.” Anxiety is consistent, persistent and disciplined. It wakes up f…
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31 min
Don't Stop Before You Even Start!
Thom’s Nutshell: “When you want something, do you begin with a commitment to make it happen or a list of reasons that it probably won't?" The mighty Carol Carter joins us again fro…
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34 min
Disappointments Are Not Obstacles
Thom’s Nutshell: “Life is a wonderful blessing, with many great disappointments. Can you see disappointment as a gift?” In emotional sobriety, we attempt to believe that we are her…